Всичко от: Jokes in English

Real Accident Insurance Claims…

4 юни 2011
Real Accident Insurance Claims… The following are actual, real-life accident descriptions given on insurance claim forms… To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I struck a pedestrian. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to [...]

Jokes 5

18 април 2011
Jokes 5 Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and [...]

Jokes 4

2 април 2011
Jokes 4 An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. „Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many [...]

Wise thoughts

15 март 2011
Wise thoughts On a wall in a ladies room… „My husband follows me everywhere“ Written just below it. „I DO NOT!!“ –– Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them! –– Q. How does a man show that [...]

Women’s Day Gift Test

8 март 2011
Women’s Day Gift Test Which Women’s Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you’d most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that… You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes [...]

Women’s Day Jokes

8 март 2011
Women’s Day Jokes A couple is lying in bed. The man says: „Right now, for this Women’s Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!“ The woman says: „Oh dear, I will miss you!“ –– When a woman says: „Well, what do you think?“, she is not [...]

Valentine’s day jokes

14 февруари 2011
Valentine’s day jokes A couple were having marital problems. They decided together to do the right thing and they contacted a marriage guidance counsellor. Several visits followed when lots of questions were asked and lots of listening carried out. Eventually the the counsellor felt that he had discovered the main problem. He [...]

The English Language

10 февруари 2011
The English Language Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? Let’s face it! English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries [...]

Farmer jokes

24 януари 2011
Farmer jokes An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. „Let’s have a party, Homer,“ she suggested. „Let’s kill a pig.“ The farmer scratched his grizzled head. „Gee, Ethel,“ [...]

Be politically correct with women

14 януари 2011
Be politically correct with women She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK – She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY – She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED – She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. She does [...]