Архив от Категория: "Jokes in English"



Do not lose your pen

20 юли 2014
Do not lose your pen Lost your pen = no pen No pen = no notes No notes = no study No study = Fail Fail = no diploma No diploma = no work No work = no money No money = no food No food = you get skinny You get skinny = [...]

The difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED

24 февруари 2014
The difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words „COMPLETE“ and „FINISHED“. Some people say there is no difference between „COMPLETE“ and „FINISHED“, but there is: When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman you are [...]

Law School Graduates

13 февруари 2014
Law School Graduates These were supposedly published by the Massachusetts Bar Association’s Lawyers Journal, listing them as questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses. 1. Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t [...]

Halloween Sex

31 октомври 2013
Top ten reasons why trick or treating is better than sex. Happy Halloween!

A pun joke

28 юли 2013
A pun joke Hello, are you there? Yes. Who are you, please? I’m Watt. What’s your name? Watt’s my name. Yes, what’s your name? My name is John Watt. John what? Yes, are you Jones? No, I’m Knott. Will you tell me your name then? Will Knott. Why not? My name is [...]

Halloween Funnies

31 октомври 2012
Halloween Funnies An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system upset. Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed [...]

Jokes 8

8 май 2012
Jokes 8 A man called home to his wife and said, „Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting, So [...]

Must see that cover letter

25 април 2012
–––- Forwarded message –––- From: Roanald Dvorak ……@gmail.com Date: Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 9:55 PM Subject: Re: Office Manager at Software Company (Chelsea) To: [email protected] Holla! This job is exactly the position I’ve been looking for! Forget all the other candidates for Aviary, I am the BEST. * [...]

Have a laugh at our expense 3

16 февруари 2012
Have a laugh at our expense 3 A senior couple are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember… Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything [...]

Have a laugh at our expense 2

8 февруари 2012
Have a laugh at our expense 2 A senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, „Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!“ „Heck,“ said Herman, „It’s not just one [...]