An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. „Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.“
„Heck, Gloria,“ the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, „we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!“

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A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. „No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.“
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, „Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.“

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In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre.
‘I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,’ he said as he surveyed the worried faces. ‘The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a
brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.’
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, ‘How much will a brain cost?’
The doctor quickly responded, $5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a female brain.’
The moment turned awkward. Some of the men actually had to ‘try’ to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the women… A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,
‘Why is the male brain so much more than a female brain?’
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,
‘It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they’ve been used.’