Alcohol does not make you FAT – it makes you LEAN …………….. against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

Little Johnny watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace… Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started [...]

One morning a Scotsman is having breakfast in Paris, (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and marmalade) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Scotsman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: ‘You Scots folk eat the whole bread?’ Scotsman (in a bad mood): ‘Of [...]

The President: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, gives policy to god. The Vice President for academic affairs: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is [...]

Don’t tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway – but the Hershey Man will know! This is pretty neat. DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don’t read the bottom until [...]

Theorem: 3=4 Proof: Suppose: a + b = c This can also be written as: 4a – 3a + 4b – 3b = 4c – 3c After reorganizing: 4a + 4b – 4c = 3a + 3b – 3c Take the constants out of the brackets: 4 * (a+b-c) [...]

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Japanese scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. Not to be outdone in the weeks that followed, Chinese scientists [...]

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky [...]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. [...]

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward [...]