Всичко от: Jokes in English



Jokes

6 юли 2009
Jokes Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives. 1st: What does yours look like? 2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, fair, black eyes. What about yours? 1st: Forget mine. Let’s find yours!! ********** Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his [...]

Twice a day

2 юли 2009
Twice a day This guy goes into a doctors and says „Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!“ „Well how often do you have it?“ the doctor asks. „Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day“, he answers back. „That’s not so [...]

So Much Snow

2 юли 2009
So Much Snow One winter morning a husband and wife in Denver were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, „We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can [...]

The man who orders three beers

2 юли 2009
The man who orders three beers An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and [...]

A drunk man

2 юли 2009
A drunk man A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had [...]

Farmer Joe and his Mule

2 юли 2009
Farmer Joe and his Mule Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. „Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?“ „Well, I’ll [...]

What was its name?

2 юли 2009
What was its name? Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, „Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?“ „Outstanding,“ Fred replied. „They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me.“ „That’s great! What was the [...]

Problems driving

2 юли 2009
Problems driving Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself „I must be losing [...]

At the US Embassy

29 юни 2009
At the US Embassy An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a Visa Consul:  What is your name? Arab:  Abdul Aziz Consul:  Sex? Arab:  Six to ten times a week Consul:  I mean, male or female? Arab:  Both male and female and sometimes even camels Consul:  Holy cow! Arab:  Yes, cows [...]

AIRPLANE LOSING HEIGHT

29 юни 2009
AIRPLANE LOSING HEIGHT In an airplane the captain told the passengers: „This is your Captain speaking. We are losing height and we do not have fuel enough for reaching land. Therefore, we have to let all baggage leave the airplane.“ The airplane got height again.Half an hour later the airplane lost height [...]