These are supposedly actual signs and notices that have appeared at various locations:

• Outside a country shop: „We buy junk and sell antiques.“
• In the window of an Oregon store: „Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?“
• In a Maine restaurant: „Open 7 days a week and weekends.“
• In the vestry of a New England church: „Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.“
• In a Pennsylvania cemetery: „Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.“
• On a roller coaster: „Watch your head.“
• On the grounds of a public school: „No trespassing without permission.“
• On a Tennessee highway: „When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.“
• In front of a New Hampshire car wash: „If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.“
• Sign in a realtor’s office: „Lots for little.“
• Sign in a shoe store: „Come in and have a fit.“
• Sign in a maternity clothes store: „We are open on labor day.“
• Sign in a non-smoking area: „If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.“
• Sign on the door of the maternity ward: „Push Push Push.“
• Sign at entrance of the IRS: „Watch your step.“
• Sign at the exit of the IRS: „Watch your mouth.“
• Sign in a bookstore: „We treat you write.“
• Sign on a front door: „Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.“