These are supposedly actual signs and notices that have appeared at various locations:

• At a Santa Fe gas station: „We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.“
• In a New York restaurant: „Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.“
• On the wall of a Baltimore estate: „Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy“
• On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: „38 years on the same spot.“
• In a Los Angeles dance hall: „Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.“
• In a Florida maternity ward: „No children allowed.“
• In a New York drugstore: „We dispense with accuracy.“
• In the offices of a loan company: „Ask about our plans for owning your home.“
• In a New York medical building: „Mental Health Prevention Center“
• On a New York convalescent home: „For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.“
• On a Maine shop: „Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.“
• At a number of military bases: „Restricted to unauthorized personnel.“
• On a display of „I love you only“ Valentine cards: „Now available in multi-packs.“
• In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: „Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.“
• In a funeral parlor: „Ask about our layaway plan.“
• In a clothing store: „Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.“
• In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: „15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!“
• On a shopping mall marquee: „Archery Tournament-Ears pierced“