Funny advertisements 3

19 март 2010

Real advertisements that have appeared in papers and various church bulletins. :-D

  • Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
  • Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
  • And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
  • We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
  • For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
  • Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
  • Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.
  • Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  • This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  • Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  • Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing „Put me in my little bed“ accompanied by the pastor.
  • Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be „Little Mothers“ will meet with the Pastor in his study.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
  • The service will close with „Little Drops of Water.“ One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be „What is Hell?“ Come early and listen to our choir practice.







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in love ;) :writing :whistling :wall :wacko :trumpet :thumbsup :thumbdown :stop :sleepy :shock :pipe :nosweat :matrix :kissing :kiss :hmm :happy :gossip :good luck :flower :flex :crying :coffee :cheers :bye :book :bomb :blush :bg :asd :ahah :-P :-D :) :(