Funny advertisements 3
19 март 2010
Real advertisements that have appeared in papers and various church bulletins.
- Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
- And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
- For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
- Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
- Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.
- Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
- The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing „Put me in my little bed“ accompanied by the pastor.
- Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be „Little Mothers“ will meet with the Pastor in his study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
- The service will close with „Little Drops of Water.“ One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
- Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be „What is Hell?“ Come early and listen to our choir practice.