In an airplane the captain told the passengers: „This is your Captain speaking. We are losing height and we do not have fuel enough for reaching land. Therefore, we have to let all baggage leave the airplane.“ The airplane got height again.Half an hour later the airplane lost height [...]

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, „Fellas, I got real problems. I’m seventy years old. Every morning at seven o’clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds [...]

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said „yes“. The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! „Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me [...]

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, „Pick me up.“ He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, „Pick [...]