These are supposedly actual signs and notices that have appeared at various locations:

• Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: „For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.“
• Sign at fast-food place: „PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!“
• Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: „Ladies may have a fit upstairs.“
• Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: „Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.“
• Sign from the Soviet Weekly: „There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.“
• Sign in an East African newspaper: „A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.“
• Sign in a Vienna hotel: „In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.“
• Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: „Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.“
• Sign in a Rome laundry: „Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
• Sign in the window of a Swedish furrier: „Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.“
• Sign on the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: „Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.“
• Detour sign in Kobe, Japan: „Stop: Drive Sideways.“
• Sign in a Swiss mountain inn: „Special today – no ice cream.“
• Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: „We take your bags and send them in all directions.“
• Sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room: „If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.“
• Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: „Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.“