These are supposedly actual signs and notices that have appeared at various locations:

• Sign on an asphalt truck: „Let us fill your crack!“
• Office sign: „Ace exterminating – we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome.“
• Sign at a muffler shop: „No muff too tough for us!“
• Sign on a government issue car: „Fulton county disaster coordinator.“
• Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: „Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.“
• Sign seen on an electricity pylon: „DANGER! To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted.“
• Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: „In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.“
• Sign in a Leipzig elevator: „Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.“
• Sign on a Norfolk farm: „Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left.“
• Sign seen in London department store: „Bargain Basement Upstairs“
• Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: „Closed for official opening.“
• Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: „Please leave your values at the front desk.“
• Sign in a hotel in Athens: „Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.“
• Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: „The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.“
• Sign in a Japanese hotel: „You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.“
• Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: „You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.