Jokes

6 юли 2009

Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: What does yours look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, fair, black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Let’s find yours!!

**********
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, „If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends“.

**********
Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus,“ Send me a brother.”
Santa wrote back,“ SEND ME YOUR MOTHER.“

**********
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and the Mattress

**********
Husband asks , „Do you know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime.“
Wife replies,“ No, it means ,
„With Idiot For Ever !!!“

**********
Three Feelings:
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when a wife is pregnant,
Tension is when a girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

**********
Teacher: “Do you know the importance of period?”
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack and our driver ran away.

**********
A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, “Are all these kids
yours?”

The man replies,”No, I work in a condom factory, and these are customer complaints.”

**********
A sons asks about the difference between ‘confidence’ and ‘confidential’.
Dad says, “You are my son, I’m confident. Your friend is also my son, and
that’s confidential.”

**********
Mother to her teenage daughter,”I think this is the right time we should
talk about sex.”
Daughter (Excitedly),” Sure mom, tell me what you want to know.”
Mother faints…








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