A senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, „Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!“
„Heck,“ said Herman, „It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!“

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse, found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down the nurse asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

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One day an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, he went to the doctor again with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
The doctor got up to meet the old man and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’
The old man replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’
The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that… I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’