A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, „I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens of them.“

His wife looked at him calmly and said, „Why do you think I gave you the poison?“

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Don’t take any chances
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law’s death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.

He replies, „Don’t take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.“

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A sudden change of mind
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

Yours always and truly,
John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.