These are supposedly actual signs and notices that have appeared at various locations:

• Sign in an office: „We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.“
• Sign in a veterinary’s waiting room: „Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!“
• Sign on music teachers’ door: „Out Chopin.“
• Sign at the electic company: „We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.“
• Sign in beauty shop window: „Dye now!“
• Sign on a garbage truck: „We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.“
• Sign at a computer store: „Out for a quick byte.“
• Sign on restaurant window: „Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.“
• Sign in a bowling alley: „Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.“
• Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: „Get a `long` little doggie!“
• Sign in a cafeteria: „Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.“
• Sign on a music library’s door: „Bach in a minuet.“
• Sign in a restaurant window: „T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12“
• A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: „Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow.“
• Sign on restaurant window: „Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong).“
• Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: „Drive carefully. We’ll wait.“
• Sign in a Maine restaurant: „Open 7 days a week and weekends.“
• Sign in school: „In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended.“